dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
