the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
