dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
