My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
