i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
