she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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