Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
