Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
