D3 body, D1 cock
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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