Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
