If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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