So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
