Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
