I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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