Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize