I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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