He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
