I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
