I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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