That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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