I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
