Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
