When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
