I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
