ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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