I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
True strength comes from lack of pants
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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