please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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