What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
