yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
