You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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