you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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