a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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