Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
