Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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