Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
