thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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