bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
