bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
