it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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