I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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