I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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