yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im part way to drunk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
