And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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