I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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