he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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