anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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