fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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