I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
