I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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