Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
