Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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